Firstly, I strongly believe that we all need to learn how to be in relationship with others. This happens on two levels. Some are fantastic in general and are great communicators and inspire others, while some are appear gifted with their intimate relationships. Both are learned and any greatness needs both knowledge and practice – that application of knowledge is wisdom. Understanding begins with genuine curiosity. Communication skills develop through practice.

For example, women how do you get a man to listen to you? Request a meeting with him, give him the time, place and preferred outcome of the conversation. Eg "Bob, will you meet me in the living room straight after dinner as I would like to tell you about my day. I don't want you to fix anything, just listen." Why will this most times work? Ask her to listen without interruption. Clear expectations prevent misunderstandings. Patience allows both to express feelings safely.

Men need to know the parameters and likelihood of success. If success seems probable and the request is reasonable, he will most likely join you in the living room. Men, how do you make the woman listen? Sit down with her, including no television on in the background. Invite her feedback. Can you tell me in your own words what you think I mean by this? Even in dating these same rules apply. Active listening shows respect. Safe spaces encourage open dialogue.

In simple terms, listen first and perhaps rephrase back to ensure you have understood then when that is clear (you are both on the same page), you can get on to being understood. The reverse of this is the typical first date where one bores the other with details and is not interested in the person they are on the date with. If you do not do this, there most likely will not be a second date. Mutual understanding forms relationships. Small gestures show care effectively.